things are going to get better right?

[Jay-Ray]

hi every one the names jeff 24 year old server. just a few months ago i was really doing well i had my own place in San Francisco and a very good job that i loved and was making alot of money now and lost it all cause i did some dumb stuff about a year ago and it finally caught up with me and put me in jail for 95 days. now i am living back at parnets house in Ohio trying to find a job(waiting tables of course) but its not going well and I'm starting to get low on money and very depressed from not working i really love waiting tables i get to be social and make money doing it. now for the record i usually am not depressed cause i self mediced by drinking but now that I'm at my parnets they wont let me drink cause they think i got a problem witch i do a little bit. but anythings better then feeling depressed. and i have a really tough time with the past i feel like the happyest times of my life are gone and i wont be able to recreate them does any one else ever feel like that

[sixpack]

Hi Jeff,

I'm sorry you've hit some hard times.  Things do get better when we make a honest effort to make things better.  Your parents are right about self-medicating with alcohol.  That will, in the long run, only make matters worse.  Which I'm sure realize.

My suggestion, to help you get things back on track, is to make a plan.  How are you going to pull yourself out of this funk?  Obviously I don't know you but maybe some counseling may help?  A counselor is probably the best person to help you to "get things better".

I'm glad you found us and welcome to the ZONE

[cubmanben]

Sixpack is absolutely spot on. I think the best thing for you is to meet with someone, preferably a counselor or other mental health professional and map out an action plan. It's hard when you're battling an enemy that you can't see to know exactly how to defeat it, but if you come up with a plan of action and stick to it, you can get things turned around and get your life back on track. Unfortunately, part of depression is that lack of hope for the future and the feeling that your best days are behind you, but I can assure you as someone who's been there that once you get over the hump, you'll start to see your life come back into focus and get you back where you want to be. Just remember, alcohol can help you to mask your problem, but you're not dealing with it. Until you are committed to dealing with these things, you cannot get over it and move on with your life. Best of luck to you and welcome to The Zone, I'm glad you've found us and I hope you enjoy your experiences here.

[j+me]

It helps me if I do something that I can see the results of.  Don't challenge yourself right away.  May start by writing a list of things you want to achieve and figure out what's possible right now.  Sometimes I obsess about the things I can't change but I feel that I should be able to.  I just sit down and write the things I think I need to do before I can get to that point.

[SystemShock]

Welcome Jay-Ray !

I'm new here too, but I would like to welcome you to the forum anyway.

The mind is a fascinating thing my brother. Perhaps we can become curious about this for a few minutes?

I think I know what you mean. I've been through some rough stuff in my time too, and I'm a pretty young cat. Here's my perspective on your situation:

As you may already know, this is a mental matter. More specifically, this is a matter of what you believe you are capable of doing. There is nothing physically holding you back from doing anything-- and I mean ANYTHING-- in this world, especially with the rapid development of technology and civilization. Your body is fully capable of producing the actions of a very happy, successful person. It sounds to me like you have already experienced these times of happiness. You're a hundred steps ahead of a lot of us. Many people don't even have this sort of prolonged blissful state to reference. Perhaps you can work on affirming to yourself that because you've felt it once (or more!0, your mind is fully capable of feeling it again. You're familiar with what it takes.

It's a bit like this. Imagine you were a pro at basketball. You stop playing for a few yeas, however, and you're a bit rusty when you go out and play again. Does this mean you can't learn how to play basketball well again? No. It means something changed and you're in a different "state", so to speak... But you've done it once, so you're already familiar with what it takes to get good.

Again, welcome to the board! I have confidence that you will find what you're looking for. If not entirely here, this forum should help a great deal at least. I've been browsing for a bit and I love this place already.

Just remember that it takes practice to get the body and mind in different states. Your undesired state is not permanent. It is a learned behavior.

Best,

-- SystemShock