Author Topic: Can anyone help? (Read 4027 times)

Josie · « **on:** September 16, 2006, 08:56:47 PM »

My therapist told me today that the chemicals in my brain are way out of balance and that I need to see my doctor a.s.p.. However, I can't get in 'ti Friday afternoon. My depression is out of control and I am feeling very much unstable and thoughts of death are overwhelming. I am on 200 mg. of Zoloft and 100 mg. of Seroquel.
Any suggestions?

pinky5 · « **Reply #1 on:** September 30, 2006, 02:26:15 AM »

Josie,

Hello. I just noticed this post and I hope that you're doing better now. Did you get in to see your doctor?

Rachel

Josie · « **Reply #2 on:** September 30, 2006, 10:54:24 AM »

Thank you for responding. I just saw him yesterday. He took me off Seroquel and put me on Lorazepam. He never wanted me on it since there can be habit froming. I went from major depression to major anxiety attacks overnight. Today I am doing better.
Thanks again for writing.
Josie

apple · « **Reply #3 on:** September 30, 2006, 11:05:31 AM »

I'm so glad your doing better Jose. I too missed your post somehow and am sorry you went thru it alone.

I hope the new med helps you. Please take care.

GMan86 · « **Reply #4 on:** November 06, 2006, 06:47:13 PM »

Glad you are feeling better Josie

Josie · « **Reply #5 on:** November 06, 2006, 08:40:25 PM »

I have had more bad days than good.

I still been fighting suicidal thoughts and temptations off and on. I am actually driving my school bus again for the Special Ed. I was taken off my anxiety meds. and anxiety is coming back not as frequent, but worse and lasting longer. I am strongly thinking about leaving my home life for about 30 days to get myself better and away from obstacles that are getting in the way since I can't afford being hospitalized. I need to find a place to stay and someone who can put up with me for 30 days.

Joanna a.k.a Josie (One of several nick names)

GMan86 · « **Reply #6 on:** November 06, 2006, 10:18:02 PM »

Why were you taken off of your meds?

Josie · « **Reply #7 on:** November 07, 2006, 06:49:57 AM »

Because, I was always sleeping. I tried to tell them that I was that way before, I was on the meds.. Hey, it's conty provided. I wish I was back on them. Especially since I am driving a school bus.
Josie

GMan86 · « **Reply #8 on:** November 07, 2006, 12:58:35 PM »

O I see. I wish you would try some other meds out

Josie · « **Reply #9 on:** November 07, 2006, 02:44:16 PM »

Me too. I have to wiat until Dec. 1 to do that. I have read Panic Away. I need to keep reading it until I can comprehend it.
Josie

GMan86 · « **Reply #10 on:** November 07, 2006, 03:45:32 PM »

What is Panic Away?

Josie · « **Reply #11 on:** November 07, 2006, 06:28:35 PM »

It is a program that I received from someone on Anxiety Zone. He emailed it to me. I tried to send it on this but it was to large. It is very interesting and worth the reading time. I don't know how else to send it to you. Ask around to other people and see if they have it. Many have emailed me to get it.
Josie

Josie · « **Reply #12 on:** November 07, 2006, 07:08:30 PM »

Trying getting a hold of GAD. He is the one who started it going around.
Godd luck.
Josie

GMan86 · « **Reply #13 on:** November 08, 2006, 03:20:20 AM »

Okay will do. Thanks Josie

apple · « **Reply #14 on:** November 08, 2006, 11:44:47 AM »

Josie, I really hope you find a med that will not cause the sleepy problems, I had the same trouble with a few meds. You could try Melatonin, a hrabal pill that gets your body to produce more melatonin which helps you sleep. I pray next thing you try has better results.

Josie · « **Reply #15 on:** November 20, 2006, 08:59:54 AM »

I use Meletonin when I can't sleep. I think that I use sleep as a way to escape life. I am still very tired all the time. It may have something to do with my mitrol valve prolapse. That and depression may not mix. That and anxiety may not mix. I have had problems with vertigo and well. That's a trip in its self. My psychologist can't prescribe meds. and the ComCare won't see me until Dec. 1. I have been having anxiety attacks with a major impact. That is also very tiring.
I feel screwed. I don't matter here. I don't matter to my husband, daughter, step-daughter, & son. I don't matter when it comes to getting the right meds. I feel invisible around people. I am not heard. I am tired all the time. I truly would like to really disappear. I have no purpose in life. Why was I created to live this life?
Josie

GMan86 · « **Reply #16 on:** November 20, 2006, 12:39:16 PM »

By the sound of your last post it sounds like you are going through a tough time in your life. I sometimes have periods in my life where I say things like, "why am I alive" and "whats the point of living if most of my life is suffering". Then I start to think about my family and say to myself, what would it be like for THEM for me not to be here on this earth. Well, that about does it for me. I think about my family and how devestating it would be for them if I decided to take my own life. Now, I don't know if you have suicidal thoughts, but even if you don't I'm sure you can see where I am getting at.

Also, I try and think of things happening for a reason. My anxiety disorders happened to me for a reason and it is up to me to make that reason a motivating and positive one. A NEGATIVE and PESIMISTIC way of thinking would be to say it's all "so and so's" fault and theres nothing I can do about it because it happened to me and life sucks. A POSITIVE way of looking at it would be, I have this disorder for a reason. I know that for sure and I am going to beat it and figure out what that reason is. Maybe its to overcome this and help others with the same issues or maybe it will make me that much stronger as a person to accomplish greater things in my life down the road.
I contemplate these ideas in my head when I am really down and I tell myself I will NOT let this beat me and I will beat the odds. I know the Lord put me on this earth for more reasons then to just suffer from a disorder my whole life. He is teaching me something in the process of it all and I am going to find out what it is.

gloomy · « **Reply #17 on:** November 20, 2006, 02:19:45 PM »

My priest once told me that God only chooses the people he thinks can handle tough things. I hope this is the case then I know why I suffer the way I do. Because I cant think of another reason why I have depression and anxiety.

Josie · « **Reply #18 on:** November 20, 2006, 02:22:16 PM »

Yes, I am going through a very difficult time. Difficult times never cease to stop. I have been wondering what it is that I am to learn in this life. I went through Hell for more than elevn years just to end up in hell again going on eight years now. I have asked God to lead me out of it, but I haven't found the path given. I feel stupid and a failure. I am afriad that God has given up on me. I know Biblical that is not true, but this depression and anxiety screams that I am a failure. That is is only so much hope for me and not to ask for more. That I am stuck in the desert for 40 years or more. I have nineteen out of the way. I need to make some decisions that I can't seem to face. I just want to hide. I wish I would die. I do want to die. I don't want to go the real Hell. I don't know. I am confused about my life.
Josie

NightOwl · « **Reply #19 on:** November 21, 2006, 02:55:19 AM »

Hope you feel better. I can relate. Only I am having a hard time getting my faith strong enough. But either way it doesn't mean you're a failure because of being depressed. I don't know. I am so confused also. And I don't "want" to die becuase there has been a lot of things I want to experience and haven't.

I badly wish I could have a happy relationship with a girl and somehow enjoy things I have never experienced in life also. But I am sick of feeling this way.

I hope we figure things out somehow. I don't know your entire situation, but I just feel so lonely. I think yours is more complex and the disappointing thing about life is that when a person gets rid of one problem, another just comes right back up.

Josie · « **Reply #20 on:** November 21, 2006, 10:02:09 AM »

I have a husband with very little relationship. Before him was a husband that abused me every way known to mankind. Since I have been remarried, I have never been so lonely in my life. I know he loves me but he doesn't know how to care for me or care about me.
There is so much more, but I hurts to tell anyone. With so many problems I hve the fight or flight. I don't fight very well or I flight. I doesn't matter what I say or how I feel here at home. So I just shut up and run. I don't think I will ever have a happy relationship with my husband, kids, or step-kid.
Josie

Kate1982 · « **Reply #21 on:** November 22, 2006, 09:39:48 PM »

I'm sorr to hear that you are having such a rough time. I noticed in one of your previous posts that you mentioned having a mitral valve prolapse. A mitral valve prolapse can cause anxiety (or worsen it) and cause/worsen depression. It can be a vicious cycle. I was wondering if you've ever talked to your doctor about the role that your mvp might be playing in your situation?
Also I was wondering if your husband has ever considered going to therapy with you or the two of you possibly attending marriage counseling?
Hope things start to look up for you soon.

NightOwl · « **Reply #22 on:** November 23, 2006, 06:21:01 AM »

Quote from: Josie on November 21, 2006, 10:02:09 AM

I have a husband with very little relationship. Before him was a husband that abused me every way known to mankind. Since I have been remarried, I have never been so lonely in my life. I know he loves me but he doesn't know how to care for me or care about me.
There is so much more, but I hurts to tell anyone. With so many problems I hve the fight or flight. I don't fight very well or I flight. I doesn't matter what I say or how I feel here at home. So I just shut up and run. I don't think I will ever have a happy relationship with my husband, kids, or step-kid.
Josie

Sorry to hear that. It sounds like a very tough situation. I hope somehow either you get happy in other ways or something changes about him or the environment you're in to begin with.

When you go through a cycle like that with more than 1 person hurting you in some way or another, it can mess with how you think too.... If you were single, I would guess you would be having a hard time to get close to another guy now and you would be scared of them. Just like I get to the point of labeling all women as people who will lie a lot because of the ones who have lied to me. Even though obviously all don't. (I think lol)

Anyway I don't know why I got onto that topic. It's tough to know what you should do because when you're married it complicates things a lot, plus with children. The counseling idea is about the only thing really... or somehow your husband realizing things. It can work out somehow.