Feeling Rootless...

[Soulful]

Without really understanding why I felt drawn as a little boy to the TV series šLittlest Hoboš You may have never seen it? It focused around a stray German shepherd that wandered from town to town helping people in need. It was similar to Lassie, but the Littlest Hobo never had an owner and though many people sought to adopt him, he preferred to be on his own and would return to his solitary journey at the end of each episode. The faces of the actors always changed so that the only constant was the dog. I remember that I'd never miss an episode as if my life depended upon it -- at least in an emotional way. I wonder now as an adult what was behind this šLittlest Hoboš archetype?

I suppose the Littlest Hobo somehow reflected the story of my life... a pattern of moving from friendship to friendship without forming roots. There was something noble and attractive about rescuing strangers without ever asking anything in return, without ever belonging ... moving on as a little superhero figure. The Littlest Hobo always got the job done with excellence, but without getting entangled in the ties that bind. I identify with getting this kind of admiration from a distance ... and perhaps that's why I'm quite comfortable in cyberspace where people come and go.

I'm sure you may be expecting a lesson to come from this, but right now I don't have one. It's one of those areas of my life I haven't yet figured out. I wonder how much of this is related to social anxiety? I suppose this is a good place to begin to work in self-awareness, because so much is buried in my subconscious where it's often inaccessible.