How do you cope?

[Matrix]

Any techniques you use to increase your confidence for social situations?

[Quantum]

I have overcome some of my social anxiety by teaching.  It was a requirement for graduate school, and it killed me the first semester.  I still have problems, but it made me the center of attention for so long that it didn't matter anymore.  Everything bothered me at first, but now I'm used to saying the wrong thing, or realizing later that my hair is messed up, etc.  Now I don't mind teaching.

I also do the things at which I am terrible with small groups.  Simple things like bowling or miniature golf, that I can do all day and never get any better.  It is now so common for me to be awful at bowling, that it doesn't matter if look silly- because I do all of the time, and my small group of friends knows it.  Everyone is bad at something.

The more I think back, the more I realize how the little things that stressed me out helped me to get a little better at accepting stress.  If you want to boost your confidence, just think of all of the times that you survived going out in public, or the times that you didn't embarrass yourself (or did, but survived anyway).  If you've done it once, you can do it again.

This is just my opinion

[rara]

Matrix, I place your advice under the category "self-esteem", but I think sad, my abreviation goes deeper than that.
     When enduring a stressful situation I`d fabricate so many theories that afterwords I could never tell reality apart, hence I`d never get a "one-time". Yes, I know it doesn’t matter wether you remember it or not just that you keep pulling trough, but even when I`d overcome the fantasies, for an example trough rutin, the stress would linger on and it`s entrappment would lead to my "blackout”. I`d still continue and due to not knowing what my mouth was saying, panic even more.
I gues what was bothering me was that it was not going away even after so much endurence.
   How i dealt whit it was to use other peoples behavior as an indicator about any feasible abnormal occurrences of which there never were any, and so use that as my “one-time”.
   But that’s why I thinks it`s not just about self-esteem but something deeper. It doesn’t go away, at least it didn’t for me.
   My cooping technique, doing things that made me feel good about my self, or in other words, made me stop feeling ashamed of myself encompassing: being responsible (meaning helping my mother out at home), being healthy, active and energetic, being a good christian and of course rigorous studying, all of which I ironicly was only able to do after taking prescribed pills.
Oo, church always used to make me feel better. It still does. / Rara.
 
   

[rara]

Summary, eliminating one symptom only clears the way for another.

[mstanya]

Quantum,

Its encouraging to hear that u embarked on a career where you're confronted all the time, and that you've succeded in that u like your work.  I started working as a youth worker about a year ago, and i am faced with negative appraisals and personal attacks each day (this is just what young people do when u have to tell them what to do all the time) - the very thing i fear!  I'm working through some issues as i go - sometimes its a hard slog.  It's good to know it is possible to get a positive outcome rather than giving up, thinking you're just not right for the job.

Bye for now,
Tanya G