Hi all, I'm new to the board and just wanted to let you know that you are soooooo not alone!! You name it, I've had it!! I have a horrible addiction to Health Obsession! I haven't had a job in 7 years and could never hold one dawn longer than 6 months because of my anxiety. I am what is labled "hypersensitive" because I am aware of everything my body is doing from gas and digestion to blood flow and fatigue. Any little "sensation" in my body that I don't recognize, sends me into an "episode" of fearing for my life and well being.
It's always gotta be something! I have feared heart attacks, strokes, cancer (skin, oral, ovarian, bone, lymph node, etc...), aneurysms, blindness, infections, you name it. This "disease" (health obsession) is very crippling. It has prevented me from living. I have "wasted" sooooo many years of my life and my children's lives due to this. I feel horrible that I can't seem to move on and "accept" that when the doctors tell me I am "fine", I'm "fine". But that doesn't seem to be good enough for me. I feel guilty for having this condition because there are people out there who are genuinely ill and dying and here I am wasting everybody time with my "fears". The thought of dying horrifies me to no end, and I think about it EVERY single day!! What a waste of time and energy!
I am angry at myself for not caring enough about myself to get a grip on this and live my life to the fullest. I know that when its "my time", its "my time", there is nothing I can do to stop it. But how do I go on with life without the worry every single day? It's really hard, and I think by putting our heads together, we can beat this. Thanks for listening guys, hope to hear from you soon. :-\
