Shaking I'm so scared

[1335TM]

I have a choice to make.  I got injured on the job last June and have been on worker's comp (L&I) since.  Got fired from the job I got hurt on, so even if I was better now, I would have to join the hundreds of thousands of people looking for work.  L&I sent me to a rehab clinic for a three hour evaluation where I had to talk to 3 different people (a physcial therapist, pyschologist, and vocational counselor).  This evaluation was hell for me.  I felt trapped and they asked all the questions I feared they'd ask, like personal stuff and of course I lied because I don't want them using any personal information against me and I figured it's none of their business since I'm only there for bursitis in my shoulder.  Anyway, their only program is an intensive 5 day a week, 2-6 hours a day for a month.  They've given me two weeks to think about whether or not this program is for me and then next wed we have a phone conference scheduled to talk about whether or not I want their program.  If I say no, they tell L&I and I quite possibly lose my benefits, which then sends me back into the world looking for work. 

I know that I'm not thinking rationally about this and am so afraid I'm going to make a choice based on my shaking legs and anxiety sky-rocketing.  I'm so terrified about having to go to this place where I feel trapped into it but don't want to make things worse for myself by saying no.  From my past experience, when I get like this about something, even if I push myself, I freak out later and quit.

Just don't know what to do. . .

[Yellow_ball]

Hi!
I do not know many about benefits that you wrote about (I am not from USA) but I understand what your problem is. My opinion is that you can not become slave of your PA. I remember when I first got PA I was struggling with it for a whole year before I went to psychiatrist (in my country it is kind of a big deal to go to the shrink). And that long time almost destroyed me - I let myself go. And that is the worst thing anybody can do to himself. My opinion is that you should attend this program. At least you can try to get there and sit. You do not have to talk to anybody or explain why you eye twitches or whatever. Never feel like you have to explain yourself to anybody. If you sit there and you feel you will have a panic attack, I assure you you will have enough strength to leave the room and at least freak out in the hallway. And if you do have attack in front of everybody - so what - life is full of weird situations and believe me panic attack in public is not all that weird. In general, millions of people suffer from this, maybe 3 or 4 other people in that room are diagnosed with anxiety, but they will be hiding it as you will. What my point is - do not let yourself go. You can do it! At least try it!