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Author Topic: the Fear  (Read 3891 times)

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Offline .nat

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the Fear
« on: July 26, 2005, 02:25:55 PM »
I suffer from GAD. I worry all the time and give myself headaches, pains, stomach aches and I have often made myself very ill from worrying.
But not only do I worry....but I have Fear. Excessive and unnecessary Fear. I will be in a situation (one that I often run into is coming home alone at night) and I get VERY afraid. Sometimes to the point where I will not get out of the car and I end up sleeping in there. It is almost paralyzing.
I don't watch the news anymore...as they seem to report only the bad stuff. I watch it and that night I will lie in bed for hours thinking "why can't those things happen to me?....they will some day i know it".
I know that there are many people around me who say "well i am afraid of the dark too" but what they don't understand is how intense that Fear and tension is. How my chest closes up and I can hardly breathe and I can feel my heart trying to leap out of my chest. And that this is a CONSTANT thing.
I have Fears about the most (it seems) unnecessary, illogical and impossible things sometimes.

Is this Fear just another symptom of my GAD?

.nat
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Offline Quantum

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Re: the Fear
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2005, 10:32:56 AM »
I could have written your post.  I can't be left alone for fear that "something" is after me.  I cant do anyting alone without all of the lights on.  I also  hear the sympathetic "well, I'm afraid of the dark, too."  But it is not that easy; I have a paralyzing fear.  Even in high school, I couldn't go out late because my parents had to get up, turn on the lights, and let me in, or I would rather sleep in the car.  Somedays are better than others (but this week, for example, I was verging on 0119).  I can't watch TV without getting scared- especially with all of those horror movies that are advertising nowadays.  I have accepted that I can't fall asleep.

I have been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.  My insurance doesn't cover meds for that, so I just deal with it.  I was first diagnosed OCD, because I would check over and over to make sure all of the rooms of my house were empty, as well as other OCD like symptoms.  These compulsions are caused by my delusions, and I sometimes see things, so it is now Sz.  I don't know if delusional thought is immediately labeled SZ, or if there are other conditions.  It is worth you looking into.  But now my problem went from people insisting that their rational fears are the same as mine, to people shying away from me because they hear Sz they associate it with homicidal mania. We may not be as crazy as each other, but know that we may share the same fears.  That is comforting to me. 

These are just my thoughts.
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This is just my opinion.

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