Can't take it anymore

[tryn2cope]

I don't know what to do anymore. It seems just when I am starting to feel a little secure, my husband, who don't get me wrong, I love very much, is not worth staying married to because of the stress that his ex-wife constantly is causing me. She does nothing but try to cause misery with me. She has caused fights with me and my husband. And he is scared to stand up to her. With my conditions, which are OCD, Panic/anxiety disorder, Agoraphobia, it is easy for me to feel like the world is closing in on me as it is. His ex-wife is constantly causing problems and it seems like she is just wanting my life to be miserable. I am seriously starting to feel like I am about ready to have a breakdown and snap. She is always trying to control my husband's and my life in every aspect. She believes that she can run our lives and our household just because she has custody of my husband's kids and we only get them every other weekend and for 2 months in the summer. But during the summer, she has  and is always trying to find things for the girls to do so that we never get our full two months that is ordered. She feels like she has control over my husbands and mylife. We feel like we don't have any privacy and she is always trying to find a way to make us suffer and also the children to suffer with them not seeing their father and keeping a relationship with both of the girls. His ex wife has told me she is just waiting for the day that she can make my life more miserable and that she is also waiting Kendall to be miserable. But I don't know what to do to make her understand what my illnesses are and also some way to put her in her place. Any ideas on what I can do so that I don't snap and end back up on the mental ward and. For I don't want to leave and divorce my husband, he means everything to me, he is my life, but I don't know if love is enough to make myself miserable because he and his wife can't grow up and be mature and communicate for the best interest in the children instead of making my life miserable and the girls being upset. Although, I know the girls don't help sometimes for they try to make people, escpecially to make people feel sorry for them and to play both sides of the fence.
If anyone out there has any advice for me, before I lose my mind, I am sure willing to try anything. But it is getting kind of close to me giving up on my marriage and to give up.
I hope someone understands and I hope that maybe someone out there is going through the same or similar things that I have to deal with in my life before I end up ending my marriage. Just to let you know, I have only been married since Feb 2005. And his exwife is already making hell for me. and making me think twice if life is wroth it with where and who I am with now. For My husband is too scared to stand up to her.
PLEASE, I AM WILLING TO TRY ANYTHING LEGAL AND WITHIN REASON, SO THAT I DON'T END UP IN WORSE SHAPE THAN I ALREADY AM MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY. So anyone out there who understands or who had gone through the same thing, please let me know and give me options, for I am out of them.
I hope to hear from someone soon. 
tryn2cope

[Quantum]

A friend went through a similar situation.  The ex and his family were trying to use their money and political pull to keep custody of their child.  They did everything they could to make her miserable- they falsified birth certificates, hired private investigators, harassed her daily, etc.  She resolved this conflict with a restraining order and the help of our legal system.  They can have no form of direct contact with each other; his family has to pick up and drop off their child (who is too young to go alone).  Any alteration to the schedule is done through their lawyers (e.g. if his family has an event that they want the child to attend when it is not their weekend).  If he/she tries anything out of schedule, they go back to court because one of them is not holding their end of the deal.   It was crazy at first, but now (2 years later), they actually send each other Mothers/Fathers Day presents.  It was such a pain for the first few months, but after a while, they learned it was easier to follow the rules than go to court.  A restraining order is not the classiest thing to do, but it sure worked for them.  At least you wouldn't have to hear from her. 
This is just my opinion.  Good luck.

[tryn2cope]

Thank you so much. I am going to try your advice. And I just hope that it works as easy as it sounds even though I know that it can be a long and drug out process.
I am glad that someone out there had some advice for me to go on and try. I appreciate.
I hope that all is well with you. Take care and Thanks again.

tryn2cope

[bigmama734cbh]

hello, i can sympathize. i was not married to but lived with a man and had a child with him whos ex was a total pain. they had three kids together. i was very kind to the children and treated them as if they were my own. in fact i spent more time with them than he actually did. i tried to just be s good friend to them and show them support, this upset his ex very much. she was always stirring up trouble. she couldnt leave us alone and eventually turned the kids totally against me. it hurt my feelings really bad because i actually cared for the kids very much. to make a long story short i wasnt happy. i left and i moved on. im not saying you shuld do that, that was my choice. good luck. :)