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Author Topic: I feel very anxious of my own existence  (Read 8342 times)

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Offline LondonBoy

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Re: I feel very anxious of my own existence
« Reply #15 on: June 28, 2011, 11:00:59 AM »

Sometimes I lay down at night, I put my hand over my heart as it races and I think "how does a heart continue to beat for 70-80 years" or whatever it may be, but it seems impossible to me.  Or I think about all of the organs in my body or my brain and how in the world it functions...freaks me out.  This is definitely more physical but I also contemplate the existential and it also freaks me out.

I sometimes can't even watch shows about the universe.  I start breathing erratically and have to turn it off.  My brain, I think, can't process how expansive and infinite the universe is.  It's like a reverse fear of heights or something.

Yes my friend, this is exactly the same as how I feel. Thoughts about the body, how it is functions, what energy is behind it causing it to function. I think about 'how I think' or the electrical impulses whizzing around my brain sends me into a state of frenzy,

I am the same also when watching shows about the universe. Ironically i love these shows but just cant watch them because of how deeply it makes me think into this.

Im not sure if its just that my anxiety will not allow me to ponder these things with a calm mind, but I dont understand how u think about this stuff with a calm mind. I mean its not like we are thinking about some event in the 3rd person like something exterior to ourselves. Im thinking about what we are.

Ah! I think ive even gotta stop typing, there goes my brain again!
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Offline tattoolady14

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Re: I feel very anxious of my own existence
« Reply #16 on: July 02, 2011, 03:20:16 AM »
Deepthought,

I know where you're coming from...I have always been analytical about my existence from a very young age, thinking about my own mortality as others have posted.  Or like you said "how strange it is to be anything at all".

Sometimes I lay down at night, I put my hand over my heart as it races and I think "how does a heart continue to beat for 70-80 years" or whatever it may be, but it seems impossible to me.  Or I think about all of the organs in my body or my brain and how in the world it functions...freaks me out.  This is definitely more physical but I also contemplate the existential and it also freaks me out.

I sometimes can't even watch shows about the universe.  I start breathing erratically and have to turn it off.  My brain, I think, can't process how expansive and infinite the universe is.  It's like a reverse fear of heights or something.

I am the exact same way about the universe thing. The whole concept of where our universe exists exactly or what it exists IN is so mind-boggling that I can't even begin to fathom... I just can't think about it. It's a bit too much.
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On the outside, I'm a blank canvas. On the inside, I'm a masterpiece.

Offline wailua

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Re: I feel very anxious of my own existence
« Reply #17 on: July 18, 2011, 01:47:45 AM »
Wow-  I totally get this.  I love shows about the universe and stuff, but it makes me really scared and panicky sometimes!  I never knew other people felt the same way.  I thought I was just kindof weird and thinking too much about this stuff.

I also get wrapped up in the mystery of death and what happens.  I'm so totally fearful of death and want to know what happens, but of course I will never know until it happens.  And then I just get in this circular logic and I get all freaked out and scared.

I'm so glad there are others who can relate.
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Offline VikingJack

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Re: I feel very anxious of my own existence
« Reply #18 on: December 02, 2012, 06:59:49 PM »
It is such a weird feeling isn't it? I hate it but can't image life without the depersonalisation experiences. I remember when they started, the first attacks, the fear. Ten years on it is no better, but then why should it be. Without the answer to the ultimate question, it won't get any better. Life gets more surreal every day and nothing you can do stops it. Distraction helps, but for how long? It rears its head again. The fear and panic comes back. No one can help, it's your head, your existence. I fill my life with love, family, work, but at 23:52 in the quiet on night it doesn't protect me from the deep black, the realisation of existence, the panic, the hole in my awareness. How do I even know that I will wake up, that I will see my wife and beautiful children. I don't and it scares me. Sure you can say 'why worry there is nothing you can do so go with the flow'. But that doesn't help really... Hmmm sick feeling in stomach, manic mind, andrenline flowing. Good to know others feel it too. But unless you have an answer (logical) we are no help to each other really. I need to stop now, too much waffle, no substance, such is life
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Offline sdjw37

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Re: I feel very anxious of my own existence
« Reply #19 on: December 04, 2012, 10:06:11 AM »
I have this feeling Xs 10 .. overanalyzing is a huge problem. Don't really know how to deal with it but like someone said above just breathing and concentraiting on that seems to help a little.

sdjw
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Offline greenzebra

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Re: I feel very anxious of my own existence
« Reply #20 on: December 04, 2012, 02:57:27 PM »
Wow-  I totally get this.  I love shows about the universe and stuff, but it makes me really scared and panicky sometimes!  I never knew other people felt the same way.  I thought I was just kindof weird and thinking too much about this stuff.

I also get wrapped up in the mystery of death and what happens.  I'm so totally fearful of death and want to know what happens, but of course I will never know until it happens.  And then I just get in this circular logic and I get all freaked out and scared.

I'm so glad there are others who can relate.

I feel the exact same way! I think about these things sometimes, and it scares the heck out of me enough to where I start hyperventilating and crying.
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Offline cafeterrace

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Re: I feel very anxious of my own existence
« Reply #21 on: December 07, 2012, 02:06:48 PM »
Wow! Wow, I'm so happy to find a group of people who share this same fear! I didn't even realize other people really had this or thought this way too. Anytime I told people close to me it was just sort of like "hm" or "yeah, I wonder too" but it wasn't like me how I get anxious at the thought of it all.

I also meditate. I also use binaural beats help me get in the mode for meditation. I think of it as a cheat to get my body and mind into the right place. So for those of you who have trouble keeping your mind still enough to meditate this may be something to consider.
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Offline dragonspitt

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Re: I feel very anxious of my own existence
« Reply #22 on: December 27, 2012, 12:30:14 AM »
I am with all who feel like im so afraid of god and what i have done in my life. I feel doomed when panic and fear overcomes me its seemes to be harder and harder to pull out of it its to the point that i dont want to be alone it helps me that ive found a group that goes through the same things ive only just found this and im feeling better the more i read and see there are people with my same fears and can overcome them. Thanks
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