Author Topic: I don't want to die., (Read 3845 times)

Alittlelost · « **on:** December 03, 2008, 08:51:59 PM »

This is my one of my biggest fears. I don't what to die. It scares the crap out of me. The worst thing is that I know that I have no control over it. Its like I am a target and I hear the arrow coming but I don't know when it will hit. I mean, I am only 31! I have been like this for over 10 yrs now! it sucks. I always think that it is going to happen. I play the "What If's" over and over in my head.
I consider myself to be a christian and I want to be a better one. But I am a thinker. I think too much and question everything. I wish that there was a pill "Instant Faith". Take one and your an instant believer with no worring. Back to being normal.
I worry about what My family will go through, will they be alright. My kids are only 4 now, I want to see them grow old and go through life.

I don't know. I try and find ways to deal with this and most of the time I can distract myself. Then ther other times like now where I have been dealing with this all day and nothing really has been able to get my mind off of it. So what do I do? Think about it more and just keep typing.

Does anyone know if there are like counsling groups that talk about this? Most of this probably doesn't make since, but I just had to get it off my mind.

NightOwl · « **Reply #1 on:** December 03, 2008, 10:50:27 PM »

I'm 31 and have felt this way for a lotof years also. Although I do feel healthy and "hope" I am not close to dying. But it's definitely the MAIN fear holding me back.

All I really know to do is either look into religion or get distracted with something else where you don't think about it if you don't believe in a religion. Some psychologist told me that I shouldn't be scared of it becuase it's natural just as birth is and there is no reason to fear it just like there was no reaosn to fear birth or something. But I can't rerally come to terms in that way. Blah....

Anyway you can talk to psychs or therapists about it. I'm not sure about group therapy for that specific fear, but it's possible there are groups for that.

danihelxxx · « **Reply #2 on:** December 04, 2008, 07:01:17 AM »

there should be a group for this, i mean for overly waorrying about death.
im the same im jsut wasting my life!xx

kristypants · « **Reply #3 on:** December 05, 2008, 06:19:35 PM »

i worry about it too.
im 18 and i really want to be able to enjoy my life and be healthy and not worry
my HA ruins that.

ugh

so worried about dying
even right now im scared of going to bed.
cus i cant breathe.
well feel like i cant

tmicrowave · « **Reply #4 on:** December 05, 2008, 11:43:56 PM »

take this or leave it, but i hope it helps:

"We are never born and we never die. Birth and death are both episodes in an eternal life. Life does not begin with birth and does not end with death. It is before death, it is after death; it continues. birth and death are ordinary episodes, incidents, nothing of much importance. Millions of times you have been born and millions of times you have died, and still you are, nothing has happened to you.

No birth, no death has left even a trace upon your being. It is as clean, as pure as ever, unpolluted, fresh, young, but we don't know how to find it, where to find it.

We are so identified with the body and the mind -- that's the only problem. That has to be resolved. If you think you are the body-mind, then you will never find your immortality. This is a fallacy which has to be dropped. You are a witness.

You can see your body, you can see your mind, so you are the seer not the seen, you are the observer not the object of observation. Because mind can be observed it is an object; the body can be observed, it is an object. You are the observer, always the observer and never anything else.

Become more and more centred in your observation, in your witnessing, in your awareness. And that will give you the key, that will unlock the door of immortality in you. Unless one knows that one is immortal, fear never disappears. "

Chros · « **Reply #5 on:** December 11, 2008, 06:13:02 PM »

Quote from: kristypants on December 05, 2008, 06:19:35 PM

i worry about it too.
im 18 and i really want to be able to enjoy my life and be healthy and not worry
my HA ruins that.

ugh
so worried about dying
even right now im scared of going to bed.
cus i cant breathe.
well feel like i cant

I'm pretty much the same, except I only get it in occasional bouts and it really destroys me hardcore for a few days, sometimes weeks. I'm in my early twenties now and have suffered from it since my mid/late teens. I'm starting counselling tomorrow and I relaly hope it can help me feel better. It's good to know I'm not the only one.

shoppingchickk · « **Reply #6 on:** December 11, 2008, 06:25:46 PM »

Yeah sometimes I'll be laying in my bed unable to sleep and I'll start thinking about death and it will scare the CRAP out of me.. like I'll start crying... it's too scary to even think about

Chros · « **Reply #7 on:** December 11, 2008, 06:43:48 PM »

Yup the same, if I think about it too much I'll have a major panic attack.

Sometimes I don't want to sleep because I'm afraid I'll kind of have one in my sleep, and when I do I wake up with awful feelings of dread.

NightOwl · « **Reply #8 on:** December 13, 2008, 06:49:44 AM »

I've been at peace about it before for a VERY short amount of time and it was the most perfect feeling. But that, along with other good feelings I've had, has disappeared for a long time now.

harv · « **Reply #9 on:** December 15, 2008, 11:59:40 PM »

Fear of death is how my health anxiety got started. I had gone a long time without worrying about it at all, and then about five years ago, when my first child was about a year old, he woke up screaming one night. For some reason, hearing him sounding so terrified brought up all kinds of thoughts of things that I had been scared of when I was younger, and the thought of death was so vivid that it just stuck in my mind. The fear of death evolved into health anxiety and I had a rough number of months after that. I've tried the religion solution too, and it has helped somewhat, but its hard, because I question things too and tend to try to think of every possibility. Its been five years, and the anxiety still pops up periodically.

tmicrowave · « **Reply #10 on:** December 25, 2008, 10:14:39 PM »

its really hard to just accept stuff is out of your control
your health is outta control but
i just have had more faith lately
whatever happens is out of my control and no amount of bracing for it or anxiety would stop anything anyway
so better just enjoy the time you have now
i know its hard

AnxTex · « **Reply #11 on:** January 14, 2009, 12:03:14 PM »

Hello all,
I'm new to this site,,and still trying to find my way around. But when I came across this post,,I knew that I had to reply. Alittlelost,,,,I hear you loud and clear,,,,Each day I fear that it will be my last. And like you had said its like your being targeted,,,thats how I feel. I also consider myself a christian,,,and I also know that death is just a part of life,,just as birth is. But I fear it,,and think about it everyday,,,and yes I mean everyday. Like,,,waiting for that chest pain signalling a heartattack,,,,thats one of my main fears when it come to the fear of dying. I wish too that there was that little faith pill you could take,to make this go away. And you know,,it doesnt matter how busy I keep myself,,the fear still remains. I lost my brother in march of 2008 after a long hard battle with cancer,,he was only 51. I was with him all the time,,,even at the time of his passing. I was the one standing next to him at his bed,,when the doctors said that it was just a matter of time now. All the family was sitting around the bed crying,,,,and looking at me to give them the word. I held my hand in front of his mouth and felt his last 3 breathes,,,I looked at my family and shook my head,,,and said,,hes gone. They all broke,,as I did shed my tears,,but held strong,,,for I knew that I had to. Now my fear is stronger than its ever been,,,,,It stays in my mind,,he was only 51,,and I'm 47,,,,how much time do I have left,,I ask myself daily. But your not alone my friend,,,,and I want you to always remember that. This is what I try to get thru my thick skull,,,,,,After I do die,,,I won't remember it,,,so why worry...........It doesnt help much,,and I wish I had that magic pill,,,cause I would take one and send one your way.....I have to say this also,,,,,right now as I'm writting this,,,,my wife had to leave to go to the store,,,and I asked,,please dont be gone too long. Why did I say that,,,,,Because I fear I will die while being left alone................But remember this too,ok
Fear is only in most cases:
F alse E xpectations A ppearing R eal
You not alone

Jeema · « **Reply #12 on:** January 21, 2009, 11:34:37 PM »

Maybe what you are afraid of isn't death per se, but your own reactions to the possibility of death. In other words, for example, maybe you're afraid of how fearful you would be in the very moment of say, a heart attack; or afraid of your ability to cope if you knew you had a possibly terminal illness. There is a difference in being afraid of something and being afraid of being afraid - the latter is worse because it can cause a sort of self-perpetuating feedback loop. This has been my main problem for a long time at least...

NightOwl · « **Reply #13 on:** January 22, 2009, 04:10:50 AM »

If death wasn't a reality I honestly think I wouldn't have anxiety at all. Me being scared of death and feeling like I have to rush my life along ends up simply making it worse. If I had no death to fear, I would be much much stronger.

Sunkissed999 · « **Reply #14 on:** January 22, 2009, 10:18:21 PM »

Quote from: tmicrowave on December 05, 2008, 11:43:56 PM

take this or leave it, but i hope it helps:

"We are never born and we never die. Birth and death are both episodes in an eternal life. Life does not begin with birth and does not end with death. It is before death, it is after death; it continues. birth and death are ordinary episodes, incidents, nothing of much importance. Millions of times you have been born and millions of times you have died, and still you are, nothing has happened to you.

No birth, no death has left even a trace upon your being. It is as clean, as pure as ever, unpolluted, fresh, young, but we don't know how to find it, where to find it.

We are so identified with the body and the mind -- that's the only problem. That has to be resolved. If you think you are the body-mind, then you will never find your immortality. This is a fallacy which has to be dropped. You are a witness.

You can see your body, you can see your mind, so you are the seer not the seen, you are the observer not the object of observation. Because mind can be observed it is an object; the body can be observed, it is an object. You are the observer, always the observer and never anything else.

Become more and more centred in your observation, in your witnessing, in your awareness. And that will give you the key, that will unlock the door of immortality in you. Unless one knows that one is immortal, fear never disappears. "

this is wonderful, where does this come from?

Brokenn · « **Reply #15 on:** January 25, 2009, 07:33:21 PM »

I have the same problem. As I have gotten older, it seems my fear of death has developed. Nights when I lay awake in bed, I have racing, horrible thoughts about my parents & myself dying. These uncontrollable thoughts keep me up for hours, crying hysterically. It gets so bad that I wish I was able to rip my head off of my shoulders. I cant escape my head & knowing that makes it all the worse.

Of course I have always been aware that death is inevitable, but I just never thought of it, nor cared really. For me, its like Im just now realizing that it will eventually happen & the thought of not being here anymore kind of sucks..I wish I could explain this a little bit better, but its impossible.

NightOwl · « **Reply #16 on:** January 28, 2009, 01:23:17 AM »

I was just looking online for some sort of help about fear of death and it's amazing that I come across topics on other forums where practically everyone in them say they are not afraid of death. I've become depressed again due to my mom's health and being scared of something happening to her and then thiknking about how much I fear my own death too. It destroys my life and I don't know how to stop doing it.

hkov · « **Reply #17 on:** February 03, 2009, 02:57:37 PM »

OMG - I JUST THREW UP OVER THIS TOO. READ MY POSTS. I CANNOT TAKE IT. I TOO AM A CHRISTIAN AND TRY TO PUT MY FAITH IN GOD BUT EVERYWHERE I TURN, WALK, SEE I KNOW IM DOOMED. I CANT TAKE IT - I WILL PRAY FOR YOU TOO. HEATHER

nipplelina · « **Reply #18 on:** February 13, 2009, 01:43:21 AM »

the center of which my anxiety comes from has to do with death. i've grown up with a lot of deaths in my family. so i've head death anxiety since i was 10. when my anxiety came back the fear of death kept it high and took over. ugh. its still here. i still feel the way all of you do. laying there in bed thinking and thinking. thinking what if and it can happen anytime etc. boo i hate it. i'm flying to chicago from LA on march 2nd with friends to visit friends. i saw on the news about a plane crash in buffalo ny, crashed into a house 44 passengers died. now i'm terrified, i dont' want to go to chicago anymore! ahhhh

NightOwl · « **Reply #19 on:** February 13, 2009, 02:53:04 AM »

Quote from: hkov on February 03, 2009, 02:57:37 PM

OMG - I JUST THREW UP OVER THIS TOO. READ MY POSTS. I CANNOT TAKE IT. I TOO AM A CHRISTIAN AND TRY TO PUT MY FAITH IN GOD BUT EVERYWHERE I TURN, WALK, SEE I KNOW IM DOOMED. I CANT TAKE IT - I WILL PRAY FOR YOU TOO. HEATHER

Now I am worried about my mom since she seems to think her health is going to go badly down hill. I hope she is ok. I actually feel like I am healthy so that makes me worry less about myself I guess. But when I start thinking about it I'm right back to worrying and scared.

Some morons on one site who claim to eb "Christian" act like you have to have 100% faith and never make a mistake, it seems, or they start using scare tactics and saying everyone is going to Hell. It's odd how some Christians are really fanatical and obsessed with judging others. They make me feel WORSE (the ones from that site). Luckily I am already Christian and not depending on others to prove I shoudl be because if I was undecided and those people were the ones I was looking to I would think wow that's not for me. They apparently miss the whole point of Christianity.

NightOwl · « **Reply #20 on:** February 13, 2009, 11:36:09 AM »

This is another reason I believe in God. Just too many thigns that seem unbelievable end up happening. My mom's blood magically went from looking majorly wrong and possible cancer-indicating to suddenly a perfect blood test and didn't need to keep her appointment with the doctor. My dad had cancer a few years ago and a miraculous incident happened then. A miraculous incident happened with my aunt when she had cancer at a young age. Just a lot of unbelievable good fortune. Of course life has some bad things too, but just so many cases keep happenign to people related to me where unbelievable good results come up.
So I am happy right now. Would be nice if everything stays this good for a long time. I have eben inching towward getting my life together lately too. And somehow my mind has got out of the worrying pattern. Not worried about such things as death at the moment. Now if only it would stay that way.

momtoaprincess · « **Reply #21 on:** February 24, 2009, 04:50:21 PM »

I have the same fear. I was never very afraid of death until I became a mother. Now I'm petrified that I'll die before I can raise my daughter. For me its like severe separation anxiety (only backwards as I'm the parent), I'm terrified of being separated from her.

doni · « **Reply #22 on:** May 31, 2009, 07:19:29 PM »

im terrified everyday and always believe im having a heart attack just like my dad did suddenly aged 41 ,, i believe ill never be the girl i used to be,

xscaredtodie · « **Reply #23 on:** July 01, 2009, 11:10:11 PM »

Hello everyone! My name is Rebecca and I'm seventeen years old. My phobia is too, the fear of dying. It is extreme and it not only conflicts with when I go to bed, but also when I want to be able to go to friends' houses. No one understands why I am staying up to extreme times, but I feel that if I sleep I will die in my sleep. I am also scared of my parents dying. I love them so much I just hate thinking about them dying. I don't fear it for other people, just my parents and I. I use to have panic attacks about a year ago, but now I just feel like I know for a fact that I'm dying tonight. I know it places a huge burden on my Mom because my Dad doesn't understand too well. He gets that I have anxiety, but he says I "feed the fire." I agree, but I think that is all a part of it. You don't just focus on something else and then you aren't worried anymore. It's my life for goodness sakes!

I also know God and am saved, which means that I will, for a fact, go to Heaven. If I know this then why am I so scared? This world is awful, why do I want to hold on to it? Gosh don't get me wrong, I wouldn't prefer to want to die. I just want to enjoy life, without the fear of how I will feel tonight.