Introduction

[harv]

Hi all.  I just found this forum a few days ago.  I can totally relate to what so many people here are going through.  It sucks that all of you are suffering from health anxiety but its great to get together and support each other. 

My health anxiety started in early 2004, about a year after my first child was born.  The first year with a child was of course stressful, but I was handling it pretty well.  Then one night after my son fell asleep, he suddenly woke up screaming.  For some reason, that brought back all of my childhood fears, particularly my fear of death.  I won't go into detail (I'd hate to bring someone else down that same path) but in a matter of seconds I went from fine to basket case.  The thought of my mortality made everything seem futile.  I was horribly depressed for a while, and this morphed into a fear of dying immediately.   My first health concerns were sudden death conditions, like heart attack, blood clots and aortic dissection.  Had an EKG and stress test done (both normal of course) for the chest pain that was in fact due to anxiety (I'm guessing everyone here is familiar with that feeling - I am now).  Dr. gave me some xanax and suggested seeing a therapist if the anxiety continued.  The rest of 2004 was pretty rough.  I knew I had anxiety, and it was most likely the cause of my symptoms, but I couldn't help but pay attention to every little sensation in case it was serious. 

By fall of that year it was getting better.  I then went about three years with only minor issues but then about a year ago I started losing it again.  I started worrying about anneurysms and eventually went back to Dr. and got a few more xanax.  Then I was sure I had a nodular melanoma that later turned out to be a scab.  That very night, after the scab fell off and proved itself to be benign, the dermatologist/skin cancer episode of Seinfeld was on.  I got a good laugh, and then I was OK until the past month or so. 

This was a bad year.  I lost an acquaintence from my past and a relative to cancer - one in his forties and one in his sixties.  My most recent slide started with cancer fears.  I got a stomach bug, and there has been this underlying fear that maybe its not a bug, maybe its stomach cancer or one of the other bad ones.  Anxiety leads to more stomach symptoms, and the worrying continues.

 I have decided to seek therapy this time.  The truth is, that there are some positive things I've gotten from this experience.  For one, when I worry about a fatal disease, it reminds me to hug my children whenever I can - tell my wife I love her, call my parents, etc.  Furthermore, the initial death fear (which I now call my epiphany) inspired me to explore a spiritual side of my life, which has made me a much kinder person than I was before.  But I'm tired of this anxiety and I want to get it under control.  Yes, I have learned alot from it, but I could be defeated by it too.  It is time to move past it, and I hope this is it.

I wish everyone here the best of luck dealing with their anxiety.  It is not a fun condition to be in and I am one more sympathetic ear to hear your concerns.  I plan to share my experiences with the therapy as I proceed with it.  I hope it is helpful to me and you as well.

[Kayteecatt]

Welcome and thank you for posting.  I hope your road to recovery is as smooth as it can be.  We're a very supportive bunch here, there's always someone who's been where you are.  I know you'll find the same support here that I have.

[gloomy]

Welcome from one anxiety sufferer to another, I used to post on this site before a year or so ago, anyway, I have been busy with other things but I took some positives from anxiety too including the desire to help others, so i graduated with a first class honours degree in psychology and am currently practicing as a therapist for the national health service, offering cbt and psychotherapies mainly to trhose suffering with anxiety and depression, I also advise on all aspects of medication too, its part of a new government initiative to improve access to psychological therapies for people.  If your in England you might of heard of these new therapists?

I hope you find some relief here and thankyou for sharing your story.