New member intro.

[frightenangel]

Hi everyone!  I'm 29 years old and have had a fear of vomitting and getting sick since I can remember.  When I was younger the fear didn't keep me from going to school or hanging with friends or going out in public.  Then I went into high school and things got worse.  I didn't like going to school because I was afraid of vomitting in the middle of class.  See, in high school I was feeling sick to my stomach a lot and didn't know why.  Of coarse, the doctors thought it was in my head, but I never believed them.  Things got so bad that I didn't want to go out with my friends as much and clung to my boyfriend like glue and lost weight from barely eating.  I lost my boyfriend and my friends were barely there anymore.  I became so depressed and felt so alone.  I started dating someone eleven years older then me.  He was always there and took care of me, so I married him.  Bad idea.  I hated it from the start.  We had nothing in common and I just didn't feel like I loved him in the way that I should've.  I didn't get divorced right away though.  I had no place to go and only had insurance and financial stubility through our marriage and being catholic my family told me to try and make it work.  I finally ended up falling for his foster brother who we were going to see a lot since he was on the bracelet and couldn't go anywhere or do anything.  Instead of being happy and thinking I was finally in a relationship I could like I found that he was very abusive.  Being too scared to live on my own and now only feeling comfortable with my boyfriend I have stayed in the relationship for 5 years and have been moving in and out of my exhusbands place the whole time.  Yes, he has been there for me through it all even though I don't deserve it.  I want to move on but I am scared of change and scared to be on my own and the worse part is I can't afford to live on my own since I can't get into low income because I have a history of violence thanks to my boyfriend.  I just don't know what to do.  I have not been able to get any help for my illnesses and the places I found online that could possibly help me either my insurance doesn't cover or I would have to move and I have no one to move with me.  So I am stuck living with my exhusband and going back to a person who lies, cheats, and treats me like crap.  I think he has cheated on me with about 8 different women which scares me because we don't use protection and if I were to ask him to use it now he would get upset since he claims he hasn't cheated on me since the time he claims he almost had sex with someone else but couldn't get it up.  So that is my story.

[crystalhanzelka]

Welcome to the forum.  You might also want to check out the Hypocondria forum..it is VERY helpful as well.

[mommy_2_4_babies]

There are alot of people with the same fear come in the chat sometime you may find it helpful