PTSD

[loridor]

There was a discussion started last night about PTSD.  I am starting to make a connection with this and HA.  Is that possible?  Kayteecatt, I think it was you that mentioned it last night before the gremlins came and made off with our posts.

What I shared was that my mother died suddenly of a VERY rare disease.  This was almost 3 years ago and up to now I have never once worried about contracting this myself.  But I see that most of my current symptoms are things she complained of at the time.  Can PTSD come after such a long time and would it manifest itself with physical symptom someone else had.  I thought it was flashbacks and other things not health issues.  Guess I need to go to the great God Google again. 

[AnxiouSteve]

YES, though I think that your stressing event may have instead been the fist time you started associating whatever you were feeling with what your mom said she was feeling.  Her death planted the seed in your head, and when you started thinking 'is this what she had' you watered it.  Then your brain fertilized it, probably by somaticizing symptoms, meaning your brain actually caused physical symptoms to start happening.  Your symptoms are real, but benign, but you made a mountain out of them.

Keep in mind that a symptom can be shared by literally thousands if not millions of afflictions.

Mind you, I'm no expert (but I did major in Behavioral sciences as an undergrad, which makes me a little informed).

My theory on it goes like this:  You can have any sort of traumatic experience, be it the death of a loved one or even an anxiety attack based on catastrophizing a very real real but benign symptom.

In the last three weeks I've scared the crap out of myself 3 times.  Even though it's never been quite enough to force me to dial 911, it stays with me for hours afterwords.  I'm afraid of being afraid.  I feel fragile.  I ask myself:  Will I feel some new symptom to freak me out again? and that makes me worry.  I worry that I feel tense even though I'm no longer convinced that I'm sick.  I worry that I have an anxiety disorder, and guess what...

When people think they are dieing and have an anxiety attack, that is often the most afraid they've ever been.  I crashed my car on an icy on ramp doing about 60mph (100km), and it didnt even compare to the fear I had when I thought I had ALS.

I had a lot of little stressors weighing on my before my first 'attack'.  You may have just been missing your mom, feeling sad, thinking about her.  In both cases, we had reasons to be depressed, and I think our brains focused 'badness' into our bodies.

[Kayteecatt]

Unfortunately I don't know much about PTSD.  You'd think I would have googled the heck out of it by now, but I focused on the HA part and haven't really given much thought to the PTSD. 

Now you've got me thinking though....if I found a way to release my fears from those events could I infact turn this HA thing around?

[crystalhanzelka]

My HA did not start until I found my best friend passed away on my couch one day.  That was about 5 months ago and I have had HA for 4 months.  I never worried until then.  She died suddenly as well.  They ruled it sudden death associated with seizure disorder....but who knows because no one was there when it happend.  i keep thinking of a heart arrythmia and it scares the crap out of me...i used to be so care free until that happend...my life will never be the same...so to answer your question...yes ptsd can bring on HA 

[wowthisismetoaT]

It was me.  I posted about it in response to Kayteecatt last night.  At least, I think it might have been my post you read.  I was talking about my dh losing his dad.

Here is my thought.  There are hypochondriacs - like me who have been this way since they can remember.  I was 5 and calling my mom to get me from school because I had a bump on my finger.  Not just calling, but in hysterics because I thought it was cancer.  I was FIVE.  I can remember incident after incident.  Skin cancer, HIV, Lymphoma, just death in general, E-bola, flesh eating bacteria.  All of these were before I was 16 years old.  It has gotten worse as I have gotten older and learned more/read more/googled more. 

Then, there are people like my husband.  He was always an "it is what it is" kind of guy.  Then, when he was 21, his dad died of a massive heart attack in his arms as my dh gave him CPR.  He rode in the ambulance ALONE with his dad on the way to the hospital.  He was in the room ALONE when the doctor came in and told him his dad was dead.  It was terrible and traumatic and just awful.

For about 5 years after his dad died, he would go to the ER monthly with chest pains.  He was convinced he was going to have a heart attack and die like his dad.  It was panic brought on by PTSD.  In time, he came to realize this and his life went on.  So, for a brief period, he had horrible health anxiety, but he was not a textbook hypochondriac.  He did not suffer with it for his entire life.  It came after a traumatic event regarding the health of a loved one and now he is fully recovered and suffers no health anxiety at all.  His mantra is "Whether I live 10 days or 100 years, I want to LIVE each one."  :)

[loridor]

Thanks for all your input.  I think I am analyzing the heck out of these symptoms, so scared that it is something serious that I am looking for that one thing that will explain it away.

 Steve, you have given me food for thought.

Kayteecatt, I sure hope I didn't give you Google ideas.  Bad idea for us all. 

Crystal, how awful for you.  It has been such a short time for you and the shock must be with you still everyday.  Has a doctor ever mentioned PTSD to you?  I pray you find relief soon. 

Thanks, Wow.  I am both of you rolled into one.  My childhood HA was as yours was.  Wonder what set us off.     It was agonizing and made those years hell when they should have been carefree.  Thank you for sharing your dh's experience.  I was a bit different, had to deal with it from many states away and now feel guilt as well as grief.  My HA has been in high gear ever since, but only recently have I started having some of the same symptoms.  And I know her disease is not a familial one.  Guess that's why I didn't worry about that one for so long.  I can definitely see the PTSD connection.  I will do a little more research on it.

You are all so great and I appreciate you so much.

[wowthisismetoaT]

If you mom's disease was truly rare...and from the sounds of it, it was extremely rare, then the liklihood of you developing the same disease is like one in a million - especially if there is no heredity.  Two people in one family having the same VERY RARE disease is like less than the odds of willing the $90 million lottery.  I think you can rest easy.

What disease did she have?  Many diseases - even cancers - present with common symptoms that could be a million different things.  I guess my point is that even if you do have some of the same symptoms, it could, and most likely IS one of those other 999,999 things.  :)

[loridor]

Yes, it was very rare for sure.  I  hesitate to mention the name here since I have talked about some of my recent symptoms and don't want to get anyone else wondering about the same thing and trying to make the connection. 

I know I don't have what she had.  I KNOW it is HA, but the mind is a dangerous thing and is trying to conjure up other serious disorders.  How did your dh overcome his HA?

[wowthisismetoaT]

I understand not mentioning it here.  LOL  Google would be blowing up like mad! 

I asked dh that same thing.  His answer, "5 years went by and never once did I have what I think I had.  Never once did I die.  So I moved on."  Ahh...to not be a hypochondriac.  Wouldn't it be nice to just "move on."  But alas, that is not how my mind works.  Unfortunately.

[loridor]

Great attitude.  Mine runs more in the line of "Well, I lucked out of that one, but now this time.....".

Does he do seminars? 

[loridor]

Oh, good grief.  MY dh just came out of the bedroom looking very upset and asked me if I was having an online affair.    Guess it's time to share with him what I am going through.  I am very good at hiding it all from everyone. 

[AnxiouSteve]

for the love of God talk to someone about it.  if not him first then who?

it took me about a week to tell my gf.  I could have played it off like I was sick, but I wanted to explain why i went into uncontrolled tremors in bed one night.

she doesnt fully understand, but she has been nothing but supportive and it has made us closer. 

[wowthisismetoaT]

My husband is so tired of hearing about my HA he could scream.  I think he really wishes he had never married such a loon. 

[Kayteecatt]

I'm honestly starting to rethink the whole idea of me being a hypochondriac....I mean I have heart anxiety and when I'm not on the meds I have it BAD...but I don't worry about other things, and other than my headaches I never have.  Just talking to migraine sufferers, most of them at one point have worried about a brain tumor....it's natural to assume something horrible when you hurt that bad I guess.

Maybe there's more to this whole PTSD than I thought there was.  Maybe instead of trying to heal my heart anxiety I need to deal with what happened to me on those 2 occasions.....I dunno.

[kristypants]

i think youre right because my counsellor reckons i have ptsd cus of my dog and cat dying
sooooo maybe?

[kristypants]

and, my boyfriends also sick of hearing it
and sick of hearing all my made up illnesses!
this weeks - that my bladder will explode

still he tries to be there for me as much as he can
its hard cus i have anxiety and i think slight depression and he has severe depression