Author Topic: Being alone (Read 6929 times)

Quantum · « **on:** June 19, 2005, 12:42:03 PM »

I have paranoid schizophrenia (so I am afraid of everything) but what fuels my disease is a fear that something is coming to get me. I don't know what it is, or what it is going to do to me. I just know that it is on its way and there is nothing I can do about it but lock myself in my bathroom or leave the house. For some reason, I only feel this way when I am alone. Nighttime in general is stressful for me. I have an irrational fear of being alone in the dark. I can't walk past a room if the lights are off. I am afraid that something is going to sneak up on me.

Nothing ever happened to me as a child to induce this fear. Most of the cases of Sz that I've read about are people with conspiracy theory thoughts, and they feel this way all of the time. I would love to hear from anyone that is/knows of cases that deviate from the stereotype like I do.

sheknits · « **Reply #1 on:** November 07, 2005, 08:20:31 PM »

I have something similar. I am living alone for the first time in a few years and I have a studio apartment. So before I go to sleep i have to close all of the doors to my closet and kitchen and bathroom. The open doors cause me anxiety like i am afraid something/someone is going to walk out of them while i am sleeping.

I also suffer from night terrors, which makes it worse because sometimes i dream that there are people or animals hanging out in my apartment doorways.

I don't have any coping strategies for this yet, as i have my first psychiatrist appiontment this week. But you're not the only one, if that helps.

jane · « **Reply #2 on:** November 19, 2005, 05:21:51 AM »

Hi- I don't have this problem but my brother does. He is afraid to seek help so I am scared for him. I have a combined Anxiety/Social disorder. My brother locks himself in his bedroom 24/7. He is so afraid someone is out to get him. He won't open a bank account or even use those savings cards you get from cvs, kroger. He thinks people are tracking him. He likes to dismantle his computer and make new alias'. Like a fake id and credit cards in a secondary wallet. Just in case someone steals it. Is there something I can do for him to help assure him of the small things are ok. ( like shopping with a savings card)
Jane

Sweet_Emotion · « **Reply #3 on:** November 20, 2005, 07:17:15 PM »

Quote from: Quantum on June 19, 2005, 12:42:03 PM

I have paranoid schizophrenia (so I am afraid of everything) but what fuels my disease is a fear that something is coming to get me. I don't know what it is, or what it is going to do to me. I just know that it is on its way and there is nothing I can do about it but lock myself in my bathroom or leave the house. For some reason, I only feel this way when I am alone. Nighttime in general is stressful for me. I have an irrational fear of being alone in the dark. I can't walk past a room if the lights are off. I am afraid that something is going to sneak up on me.

Nothing ever happened to me as a child to induce this fear. Most of the cases of Sz that I've read about are people with conspiracy theory thoughts, and they feel this way all of the time. I would love to hear from anyone that is/knows of cases that deviate from the stereotype like I do.

I know exactly how you feel. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels like this. I have never locked myself in the bathroom but I have stood in there for ages, unable to move. I can't walk past or be in a room when the lights are off. I am afraid someone is going to get me when I am alone. Only at night though. Does anyone know if this kind of fear has a name?

lilbluinsomniac · « **Reply #4 on:** November 29, 2005, 04:57:59 PM »

wow..i have a thing too where i think there are 'monsters' lurking. not really monsters, but demons and stuff that come to torment me because i'm so sensitive and jumpy. like they're having fun. it really pisses me off sometimes. i feel like a bug under a microscope being poked at and the devil is laughing at me. so one night, out of spite, i walked through the house on my way to take the laundry to the laundry room, and didn't turn on any lights until i got to the laundry room. feeling pretty good. then i looked at the window and since the light was on all i could see was dark, and the curtains made a reflection shape of something watching me and i darted. except, i think that the 'monsters' are doing it like that to make me seem insane if i tell anyone. so i can't talk to anyone. i panic and am sooo worried about everything. this sucks.

dld41001 · « **Reply #5 on:** April 22, 2006, 11:04:55 PM »

My phobia is quite different from what you have described here. I do not feel that someone is out to get me. My fear of being alone is more of not being able to do things on my own such as drive, shop, ride in elevators, etc.,, I am unable to work because I canot drive there alone and I get anxious when alone for too long. I live with my parents as I cannot live alone right now. I don't remember anything occurring earlier in life that would have brought this on but sometimes I feel like I have been "alone" all my life even with other people around. Does anyone else feel this way?

Scared74 · « **Reply #6 on:** July 26, 2006, 10:24:11 PM »

After reading your stories, I thought that I was the only one who had this fear. I am in my 30's and have carried this fear for as long as I can remember. It started as a child and still remains. I am to the point where I pretty much bolt myself in at night and have added more locks to my doors. I wake to every little noise and then have trouble falling asleep again. Usually this occurs between 12am to 3am. I am up constantly looking out the windows and checking doors. I hate having this fear and would love to hear if anyone has found away to get rid of it. I have a smaller daughter and I hope to not have this pass on to her since I already have with one of my other children. I am at the point that I dread going to bed at night and will fight to stay awake as long as I can. The fear of being in the house alone even with my daughter scares me. Please help if you can.

Violet · « **Reply #7 on:** September 18, 2006, 09:16:13 PM »

Its very nice to meet others that have this, I am to very scared of being alone, even if someone is alseep in the house with me, I still feel someone is looking through a window at me, or hiding behind something and is going to jump out at me.

The other night, I was in the kitchen making sandwiches for the next day I kept hearing noises above me on the roof I got so scared I started carrying around a knife, I switched all the lights on and just sat there and shook.

Tonight apart from my mother sleeping im alone and it scares me s***less

Im sorry that other have this though, but hello to you all

GMan86 · « **Reply #8 on:** October 17, 2006, 06:49:33 PM »

Welcome

NightOwl · « **Reply #9 on:** October 21, 2006, 02:38:16 AM »

I have a vision problem, thus don't drive. I feel so dependant on people for that reason. I don't know what to do. I "can" get a license though most likely. I am on the borderline legally. And I have always felt like I badly need a serious girlfriend/wife. I know that is not a good attitude to take, but I am so depressed from going so many years with nobody other than family.

Anyway I kind of feel paranoid about someone out to get me to a minor extent too, i guess.

GMan86 · « **Reply #10 on:** October 23, 2006, 03:12:43 AM »

If your vision problem is from the meds you ought to get that squared away with your doc.

Linda317 · « **Reply #11 on:** October 26, 2006, 12:26:42 AM »

You're not alone! I've been scared of the dark ever since I was a young girl. Don't have any idea what caused it, but I remember that I would go to bed at night and tell my mom and dad to leave the light on. I could only have the light off when my other sisters came to bed (4 girls and 4 bunk beds in one room!!!). As I got a little older, I could have my light off ONLY if my door was opened. But I couldn't be the only one with the door opened though. I know it sounds weird.

When I got married, I was okay with being alone at night or very early in the morning. I had my daughter later and still was really OK. My husband gets up at 2:00am every morning and leaves for work by 3:30 - 4:00 am. It was no big deal...I would fall back to sleep. But one Saturday night, he and I went to see a movie, "Death Wish II" and the next morning he was leaving for work, I laid in bed and started to panic. I couldn't breath...I was in terror. I got up and called my Dad and told him that I was coming up to their house with my daughter. Then around 8:00am, I went back home. No big deal. Then this because an EVERYDAY event when my husband would go to work. I'd get up 15 minutes before he was going to work, get our daughter, and head up to my parent's house. This went on for 3 years.

How I got over that was when I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter. I was about 7 months pregnant and was so sick and so tired, that I just went out onto the couch, WITH the television on, and the dog by me. I eventually realized that no one was trying to break into the house.

Now, I don't like walking by doors with the lights off. It freaks me out. I go to bed at night and have a ridgied pattern as to how I turn off the lights, NEVER leaving myself having to walk in the dark. The television is on in my room to give me some sort of light so that the last light I turn off is the hall light right outside my bedroom. I can't sleep with my feet or hands off the bed because I fear that "something" or "someone" is going to touch them.

If I'm by myself at night, my mind wanders and become over exaggerated. I get spooked very easily and would fear that a ghost or a demon was going to appear. I get spooked having too much of an open space behind me because I fear that someone (again, a spirit) is going to be behind me.

I'm better than i used to be, but still have a long way to go. One of the things that I am trying to do to help cure me with this is realize that this just isn't going to happen. I am trying so hard to have the faith that God won't let the ghosts and demons get to me. This has really started to help.

So, you're not alone.

NightOwl · « **Reply #12 on:** October 26, 2006, 02:36:06 AM »

Quote from: GMan86 on October 23, 2006, 03:12:43 AM

If your vision problem is from the meds you ought to get that squared away with your doc.

No, I was born with optic atrophy, so my vision is really bad. ALthough the benzos DO affect my vision some. I am just hoping it isn't anything to worry about.

GMan86 · « **Reply #13 on:** October 26, 2006, 02:37:52 AM »

I just want to make sure that its NOT the meds that are doing that.

NightOwl · « **Reply #14 on:** October 27, 2006, 05:57:17 PM »

Well my psychologist claimed my right eye being more blurry isnt a dangerous effect or anything, so she better be right. I probably should have asked a doctor though. What's weird is acid reflux medicine also bothers my right eye and gives me a headache.

GMan86 · « **Reply #15 on:** November 06, 2006, 07:50:49 PM »

I think you should have asked a doctor. I would be scared

NightOwl · « **Reply #16 on:** November 07, 2006, 02:08:28 AM »

well it hasn't become worse in a month's time, so hopefully it is nothing to worry about. I do go to the psychiatrist in a week.

GMan86 · « **Reply #17 on:** November 07, 2006, 02:14:06 AM »

I am surprised your psychiatrist isn't pushing you to take an SSRI or other type of major anti-depressant. I take klonopin in combo with Zoloft if needed.

NightOwl · « **Reply #18 on:** November 07, 2006, 04:34:20 AM »

Well for the most part he did. He just said he can't make me but that he thinks I would get "a lot better, a lot quicker" if I took them. Like I've said in the meds area though, even 1/4 a pill bothered me because I am so sensitive to meds. So I try to just not do it unless it's a last resort.

Care1208 · « **Reply #19 on:** January 25, 2007, 02:01:24 AM »

I am also very afraid of being by myself. If there is no one else in the house, I will lock myself in my room and sleep with the TV and lights on. I seem to hear and see things at night that arent really there. I am afraid to walk in the basement without someone with me. TV and movies seem to make this worse. Word to the wise... dont watch the TV show nip/tuck. It has scared my so bad in the past I cried myself to sleep.

sadgirl · « **Reply #20 on:** February 26, 2007, 05:36:44 PM »

Wow it's feels strange to read this because i had never thought of it as a phobia or anything before or ever actually thought about it that much, but i have a few of the same fears as some of you. I am afraid of walking past a room with the light off even when the door to it is closed and i am terrified of opening my curtains in case there is somebody outside looking in, i think that there will be somebody with their face up to the window waiting for me. I am afraid of these things at night but not in the day i am also afraid of these things even when i am with somebody else.
When i was younger i was afraid of the dark and couldnt sleep with the light off but as i got older i started to sleep with the landing light on and my dorr open because i wasnt allowed my bedroom light on. Now i can sleep in the dark but i still like to have the door open slightly even if there is no light coming through, it takes me a bit longer to get to sleep in the dark.
At night if it is dark outside and i cant see anyting out there i am afraid that there is somebody outside the window or door and i get really paranoid when i am going up the stairs because the door is at the bottom and has a window in it. I sometimes have to run up the stairs as fast as i can so that whoever it is cant get me and i just push anyone else out the way lol.