Hi guys. I don't know what you will all think of me for posting this, but here it goes. I live in California in an apartment complex, which to my disgusting dismay, has cockroaches. I've tried everything. I keep my house clean and use every roach repellent known to man, but they seem to be getting worse, I don't know why. The cold maybe? I don't know. Anyways, there are all sizes. The bigger ones gross me out the most, but the ones I worry about are the little ones....I keep thinking of my feelings of depersonalization and am wondering if maybe a cockroach has crawled inside my ear!!!! It gives me the creeps and I can't stop thinking about it. I envision one getting in my ear, eating their way through my eardrum, all three layers of my inner ear and finding its way to my brain. What if it's laying eggs?? omg, I can't even think of that. How would a doctor know if there was a baby cockroach in my ear? they're so small. When I had my CT scan on Friday, the doctor looked into both my ears with his little light, but would he be able to see if there was a roach in there? What are they looking for when they look into your ears? I really hope I'm just being a spaz about this, but what if I'm not? What if there really is a cockroach in my head and that explains all my symptoms??? Is that why I feel so disconnected and far away from everything? I can't live here anymore, I am considering going to a motel and telling my landlady about these disgusting creatures. They are so gross. I feel like I'm going to throw up.