realization that i like pain...

[maggstaa]

so last night while i was eating some raw chili peppers, i had this realization---i like the feeling of being physically hurt! it made sense now that maybe this is the reason i love drinking hot sauce/vinegar, the feel of a needle into my veins from a blood drawing or IV, being pierced (i was considering another piercing just because i liked how it hurt...), really rough sex (being slapped, choked, bitten, scratched, etc), even a few years ago when my doctors were ODing me on my meds, i loved the feeling and falling down, running into walls, etc (maybe that's why i like being drunk so much?..), and this is prolly why cutting myself whenever i'm depressed/stressed feels so good...is this normal?..

[Pan]

I think that the idea of liking pain can be classified as 'normal' to a point.  I actually love that feeling you get when you get a deep bruise and if you press it you get that dull aching pain....I also like it when you have a cut on a tender point (finger tip etc) that is just starting to heal but is at that throbbing stage.  Weird as it sounds that sort of pain is almost like a reminder that I am alive.  I have had tattos done but I do not really enjoy the pain from that but I know at least 2 friends (both girls) who are pretty much addicted to tattoos and peircings because they enjoy the sensation of mild pain whilst having them done.

You mention about cutting and I think this is a totally different issue.  My understanding on the matter is that people tend to cut not for any pleasure of pain but rather that it gives a form of emotional release, almost like an emotional purging, that the person is not able to find through the 'normal' and taditional channels.  I do think that enjoying an element of pain can be classed as pretty normal as after all this is a subjective thing but I feel that anybody who cuts for whatever reason should be seeking help or advise as this is very often behaviour indicative of a mental disorder.

[AnxiouSteve]

I'm not disagreeing with pan at all, as everything he said sounds in keeping with what I was taught a few years ago as an undergrad.  I'm just expounding.

People who enjoy cutting themselves or otherwise hurting themselves tend to suffer from dissociative disorders.  (I remember my prof saying you can always tell a well researched TV show based on weather they call it dissociative, or disAsociative (wrong)).

For instance, and this may not be you, they may have had a traumatic experience, and are since left with the occasional feeling of being depersonalized (out of it, I guess).  The pain brings them back in.

I dunno, that sounds kinda hocus pocus to me, especially compared to what pan said.

Anyway, I also remember my prof saying that snapping a rubber band on your wrist may become as effective as cutting in the long term, and certainly less harmful / pathological.

[Jitterbug32]

As someone who has cut myself at times, hurt myself in other ways, and certainly obsessed about it many times, I can tell you that for me the idea of physical pain is just so much more attractive than the idea of the emotional pain I have been in. It's a distraction, for a minute I can focus on how it feels to twist a knife in my arm, and I don't have to worry about how much it hurts (has hurt me, my whole life) that I was so badly abused as a child. I most often am not able to cry, I don't have that range of emotion when I am really sick, but I am able to take control, hurt myself, and think about that for a while instead.

That sounds so crazy, I know. Just trying to explain it from my point of view.

J.

[marc]

I would contact your physician and explain the way you are feeling so they
can help you feel better.

[crazylady]

maggstaa,

There is a difference between pleasure pain and pain-pain though. You can go to far with the one and that is unhealthy. Talk to your Doc and tell him or her what you are feeling like.

[ainsecuregirl]

It sounds like self mutilation to me, and I believe that they classify most of what you where talking about in that disorder. At least I believe its a disorder. I've been cutting myself on and off for years, when I feel under instense pressure, etc. Its been my go to technique when I just can't deal with alot of things, physical or otherwise. Most people find it disturbing, but to me, the pain makes me calm down, and crystalizes my thinking for awhile. Basically it is an unhealthy coping technique (any kind of self hurt that is), that you need to learn to replace with a healthier coping technique. I would suggest seeing either a therapist, or looking at a number of really good self help books out there. Know that you are not alone either way!

[Ymir]

http://everydaywonderland.com/articles/pleasure-and-pain-are-one-and-the-same

Note: Despite quoting so-called religious text, this article has nothing to do with religion (and neither does the text).