Bipolar problems

[ursus]

Hello I was diagnosed with Cyclothimia, many years ago, now all of a sudden they tell me I suffer from a Bipolar disorder,and now I can't get a psychiatrist, I used to see one every week then it went to every 2 weeks then 3 weeks.
But he had told me it was going to be a lifetime process. I'm on depakote and effexcor and of course Ativan as I suffer from chronic anxiety and post traumatic disorder
I do not understand that all of a sudden, all I need is a family doctor whom btw was not even aware that he had to send me for blood test every 3 months because of the Depakote (i'm allergic to Lithium) 
Are there others whom have been treated the same way?
Does your medication let you sleep, once in a while? 
do you feel like you have absolutely no energy at all.
can you live a  normal relationship with a significant other, or are you living alone, because the "other" got tired of the depression, the no energy, and all that.
Doctors have assured me it is not caused by the meds, well apparently I was born like this, so why did it took till I was 42 to diagnose me, and why now am I without energy, nor getting better.
I used to work had a senior management career then one morning all fell down the drain.
Is there someone out there, whom can share on this subject, I have the genetic form of this, and my sister has been diagnosed too, as well as her son.
Mind you we don't suffer from manic episode, running thoughts ok, unable to concentrate anymore, and of course can't sleep. Unless it is during day time, which is not too good, here people are more on the normal day shift.

[jackson312]

My problems are so similar to yours that it's scary.  I am having a difficult time keeping in work.  My father appeared to be an alcoholic, but now I am beginning to think that he was bipolar and self medicating with alcohol and violence. 

I have found doctors to be a mixed bag.  My latest psychiatrist was the first one to diagnose bipolar as my problem.  I am 49.  All of the others diagnosed clinical depression - long term.  All of my siblings have suffered from depression, and one of my sisters and myself have had it pretty much continuously for the last 20 years or so.  She is 50.  My grandmother and one of my uncles have suffered from it.  There are probably more family members, but they all have the feeling that mental health issues are a lapse in faith and if we truly found Jesus our problems would be over.  My sisters and my 'mania' is usually in the form of Brains Gone Wild, an inability to stop our minds from racing and replaying hurtful experiences.  In my case I seem to be able to remember every misdeed ever done to me since conception.  And the kicker is I know all of this self destruction is not from anywhere but inside myself.  I can't let go.  I keep tell myself it's just the illness talking, but I can't shake the pain.  My chest feels like something's sitting on it; and my back and neck never seem to be free of tension.  Massage therapy is great, but I can't afford it too often, and not lately at all.  Cardiologists are tired of hearing from me.

I don't think mental professionals always know the best plan of action.  I've endured several well-meaning but damaging attempts to make Cognitive Behavior Therapy work.  It's been called different names over the years, but it's the same idea that we can overcome our problems by replacing errors in thinking with rational self-talk.  That we can self-talk our ways out of feeling depressed, anxious, angry, invincible, or whatever by using our mental energy to counter negativity.  I'm glad it helps some people.  It doesn't work for me.  Insisting it will is mean.  I ultimately end up where I was before, with a renewed feeling of shame that I have once again failed myself. 

I can't say I've been 'unlucky in love'.  As a matter of fact, I've been married three times.  Divorced three times, too.  I know that my constant failures in 'significant other' relationships are a product or by product of my emotional problems.  I know it wasn't easy for them either.  This is an understatement, but I HATE IT!!!  I have often been tempted to try harmony.com just to see what sort of emotional train wreck shows up as a match.

I hope my response helps you not to feel so alone.  It's much more common than you think.  I wish the best for you at getting good help.  I sincerely hope for you what I sincerely hope for myself... that one day the pain will be lifted from you.  Be as good to yourself as you can.  Take care.

[apple]

I have been diagnosed with GAD and Panic.  One psyciatrist thought i had Bi-polar (he may have been right)  but after he told me to "befriend my panic attacks"  I didnt see him anymore.  that was when I was 18yrs old.

I am 31 now with 2 kids and a wonderful husband...we have been married for 1 month but living together for 4 years.  I told him of my mental issues before we moved in together and all the meds I take.  He didnt realize what I was talking about until we moved in...but somehow he learned about me and is very supportive.  I am very open about how I feel to my kids and my husband. I let them know when Mom starts yelling and I swear, its not them.  Mom is having anxiety. 

I have been on soo many different anti-depressants its crazy.  I did real good for 3 years on effexor and cyclobenzaprine.  The combo knocked me out at night.  After I had a hyserectomy the meds made me sleep all thi time so I had to stop.

I went to a new psyc and he tried me on a couple of different meds and I got so screwed up I started having violent thoughts.  I called him and ne never called me back for 2 weeks, told me he thought he had called me.     So my GP put me on risperdal and clonazepam.  Thank God!

I refuse to see a psyc now and only see my GP because He is always there and willing to help me.  I did finish my CBT.

I gotta go now    I understand how you feel.  Just going with a GP doesnt have to be a bad thing if he is a good one.

[apple]

I am diagnosed Cylothymia

I am still taking the risperdal and clonazepam and had to take vaium shot for two days and Holdol for two days.  I have been put back on the effexor and an hoping to do better. 

I understand that this can lead to worse bipolar. I wish there was more people here that are going thru this.

[NightOwl]

Could I be bipolar by the fact that a lot of nights (like right now) I finally feel great, but then I always seem to end up way way wya down again the next day?  I think it can be part of GAD though and I haven't done anything unusual when feeling good.  Although a VERY few times the past few years I have felt so high suddenly in the middle of the night and had too much energy.

There is also a second type of bipolar with less pronounced highs and lows, I believe.

Anyway hope you both get yours under control.  I am pretty sure I saw somewhere that SSRIs are not good for bipolar people though, apple.

[apple]

Cyclothymia is the lesser form of bipolar.  The only way to know is to talk to your doc or a psyc.  Its possible as it has highs and lows and is a depressive disorder.

The effexor is supposed to help the adrenalin problem I have.  The risperdal is an anti-psyc. for bipolar and I was just been put on lithium.

Starting to feel better.  Maybe you should look into it.  Only thing with bipolar is you have to take the meds...you cant do it without them.

[Kayleybabez]

Hey...i'v been treated exactly the same more or less....My doctor hasnt yet sent mee 4 any blood tests and im also on Depakote...i had 1 blood test when i first started them which was nearly a year ago now...My mum isn't to happy as they can cause liver failure and that is the reason 4 the blood tests so i think she is going to complain  I was also concerned as im only 18 and i asked if they could change them because they make mee feel really sik etc and quite ill, sleepy etc but they said that these are the best ones and the strongest and they couldn't change them....so im not really happy with that even though they help i have to deal with the sickness etc but my psychiatrist is trying to sort something out as i have been nagging him  !!

Anywayz i hope things have been betta 4 yooh since
Take care =] x

[apple]

Keep fighting and looking for the right treatment!  Never... never stop till your satisfied.  You will find a way to live better, just never give up. 

I am on risperdal and cyclobenzaprine now with clonazepam when I need it.  My anxiety is mostly controlled now.  I am finally satisfied with my treatment and life is so much better for me and my family.