Decided to go ahead with the CT, MRI, whatever

[brandons_mom]

I've been making my mind a living hell for the last 5 months and I'm so tired of it.  I have finally decided to have a stupid ct scan or MRI done to find out what the hell is wrong with me, if anything.  My last Dr. appt she said she'd be willing to give me one finally to ease my mind and I declined the test. I just e-mailed her and said to go ahead and schedule me for one.  I havn't gone out of fear.  I am going to accept the results of the test, good or bad.  There is nothing bad that can come out of this, I have to face my fears.  Either something really is wrong with my brain, they'll find it, and I pray to God that there is a cure/treatment.  Or, there is nothing wrong with my brain and this is my OCD like it's been every other time.  I will force myself to accept these results and start enjoying life, regardless of what the test shows.  Thanks to everyone for being so supportive and I will keep you updated :) *hugs to all*

[niteriders1]

Thats good you went with it. If everyhting comes back normal and then i think it will make you feel better. I went through the same test and when it came back normal i felt so much better.

[me]

I'm sure you will be fine, and then you can put it out of your mind for once and for all 

[SuperJew26]

I am doing this as well, i asked my doc to please set me up with a neuro. I think knowing one way or the other will make life better for me... and the quicker they find something the better the treatment outsome is, usually. When is your mri scheduled?

-roger
26/male/kansas city

[brandons_mom]

Roger,

I know both of us are kind of in the same boat as far as our neuro fears are concerned and I'm actually excited to get this done.  I've put it off for so long out of fear of the results but, time is not going to change the outcome.  If something is wrong, the longer I wait the worse it'll get.  If nothing shows up, I've yet again, wasted another 8 months of my life living in agony when I could have done a million productive things to improve the quality of my life; I've instead gone into this downward spiral of self-pity and hopelessness.  Getting a cat scan and MAKING myself believe the results I believe will be a big step in my recovery.  I am waiting to hear back from my doctor about when they can schedule the scan, I've told her I'm going to be a wreck (like my life is on hold) until then, so I'm hoping she'll send me for one right away.  But, that doesn't count the time it'll take for the neuro to review the results and send the report over to my regular doctor....but, part of healing is waiting out the anxiety, so I will try my best to be patient and handle the anxiety that comes from uncertainty.  Good luck with yours, when is yours scheduled for? are you nervous/excited?

[SuperJew26]

Well my first nuero appt is oct 8..... I'm pretty sure they will do an MRI after they look at me...

I hope it is not a brain tumor... MS can be managed and is much more common. I know waiting for the results will be pretty intense... I'll be sure to keep stocked up on my xanax during that time. I know that MRI's are not 100%... but they are pretty dern close to it..... I could start to collect myself alot better if I got a full head/neck scan. If I do have something, I would like to start treatment asap (if treatable).
I agree with you. Fearing the results is not going to change a thing. If i have something i have it, if i don't .. i don't...
Waiting will be hard.. but I've been afraid everyday for 7 months now... a couple more weeks should be to much more on me.

I have been having an increasing amount of bad days vs good days lately. I went to a movie today which caused me to sit down and do nothing for 2 hours... the movie wasn't that great so my mind was drifting and I couldn't get up and do anything to make me relax. I also felt scared that a symptom might pop up and I was in an uncomfortable place.  It was not pleasant at all. I'm just always scared to some degree ... scared... . and I think it is the fear of not knowing that is the worst.