My 9 year old has separation anxiety, performance anxiety, etc.....

[momtogrif]

I've posted on the OCD side of this forum b/c my son has OCD anxiety as well as GAD.  I just wanted a few suggestions from folks who have been there, done that.  He has constant separation anxiety even if I leave him home alone with his dad.  He worries if I take too long at the store and has a hard time redirecting his thoughts.  Funny thing is, he's fine if he sleeps over at a friend's house or if he goes out to play golf or tennis with dad...then he doesn't think about where I am or what I'm doing.  He worries that I won't pick him up from children's church even though we've been going to the same church for 8 years now and we've had the same routine, etc.

My dh and I are going on our annual trip where we leave him at home and my mom flies out to watch him.  Every year I worry about it(without letting him know my own concerns, of course) b/c of this anxiety that's plagued us for years now.  And, every year, he survives and my mom tells me that he did great.  I'm worried that this year will be different b/c his anxiety has seemed to peak recently.  He gets frequent stomach problems and vomits if his anxiety gets bad.  He gets bowel problems along with this, too.  We will be gone for 5 nights and I just pray that he'll be fine as he's been for the last 4 years despite his concern before we leave. 

He also has sports/performance anxiety before his flag football games.  He threw up last night b/c he had such bad 'butterflies' and then I hear him humming in the bathroom while cleaning it up!  He's too funny sometimes!  We get to the field and he makes a mean face and says, "It's gametime!" and goes running off with his teammates.  It's just the right before the game thing that gets him.  This is the first year we've had this problem with him too.

Any suggestions?  We have him with a counselor and we're trying to work on the separation anxiety.  I also take him to a naturopath who's got him taking some B vitamins and amino acid support supplements.  I coach him through yoga breathing and other relaxation techniques when I can.  What else can I do?  Will this anxiety ever change for him and will he ever get over it?  I understand that anxiety can last a lifetime but if I give him the right tools, can I help him overcome it?

Thanks,
B

[momtogrif]

Anyone???  help?

[klacrwdr]

hey! i just wanted to let you know that i've been suffering from anxiety for quite some time now and the most important thing you can do for your son, above all else, is listen to him. i mean, really really listen when he needs to talk. i've found that when you're experiencing anxiety and have somene who will fully listen to your worries and how your feeling, it makes all the difference. let him know he isn't alone and there are a lot of people like him who worry. i can't tell you how to make him 100% better but i can tell you that it will help if you don't judge him, listen, and do what you can to comfort him. he will get better in time i'm sure! anxiety is very tough to deal with, but he CAN overcome it!!!!!

[momtogrif]

Thank you to those of you who responded.  I do listen to my son when he has concerns.  We also have him in counseling where the counselor is encouraging him to do some exposure therapy where he has to get used to my leaving the house, etc.  He's such a great, sensitive kid and I pray that we can get through this and make him a stronger teen and adult who can HANDLE life.  I am so afraid that he won't be able to handle the struggles of life b/c he can barely watch the commercials for CSI and he gets so stressed out over football games and test taking and social situations.  Sometimes it overwhelms me, too!